What has led me to believe in a Power greater than myself?
The fact I am still alive. If I am still alive, after what happened as a kid, the inexplicable healed broken ribs and scars, and the false choices I have made, something is watching me, keeping an eye on me. Something has a vested interest in keeping me alive. I ascribe to that as the great Divine. If it wants me alive that badly, and can move heaven and earth to keep me here, it's not my call to tell it no. I do not know if it hears or cares about prayers. I just know the Great Divine knows what's best for me. If I fuck up, it's always there, waiting for me to turn around and remember or ask for help. There have been times I have felt the physical presence of the Great Divine, barring me from harm.
How do I describe that Power?
Not the Judeochristian God/ LORD, that's for sure. I have a grudge against that aspect of the Great Divine. I believe that the closest the human mind can come to comprehending the Great Divine is to picture a great and giant faceted diamond, sparkling and shining as from a light within itself. Every face is a face a past present, or future faith sees as a god(dess) or god (desse)s. Every faith has gotten part of it right and part of it wrong. God is a reflection of human nature, good or bad, angelic or demonic. We see in the Great Divine what we want to see or what we need to see. If we need a father figure that day, that is the facet we see. If we just need to be loved, the facet with an ocean of love is there. It is difficult, possibly impossible, for humans to grasp and see all the facets at once. Certain faiths deny the existence of all the other faces, others embrace as many as possible.